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CANDY LOVE (registration #1357537)

by

Austin Girl

CHAPTER ONE
Granny’s Clay Pigeons

I hadn’t even picked up the double-barreled shotgun when my quirky granny reloaded clay disks in the skeet machine.
“Pull!” Granny Lucky hollered.
I raised an eyebrow and turned to her. My heavily-teased Crayon-yellow beehive hair stood perfectly still in the wind. The echo of a lone coyote billowed beyond the hill.
“Granny, I’m supposed to yell pull,” I said in my thick country twang. “That’s what the manual… Continue

CANDY LOVE
Registration Number : 1357537

CANDY LOVE
by
Austin Girl

PROLOGUE

Rookie in a Red Raincoat

You can tell a true cowboy by the type of horse that he rides.
- Cowboy Proverb

1973. THE YEAR OF DISCO: Afro wigs, platform heels and strobe lights. I had to be different. I was still in the ‘60s with my beehive hair, cowboy boots and Wolsey tights. At twenty-eight, I was the first female rookie agent for the FBI in D.C. and let me tell you: when you’re a sassy cowgirl from West Texas who h… Continue

Tonight at Trump International Hotel & Tower Casino in Las Vegas, professional boxing ring announcer and former child-star Michael Buffer took a lady-like swing at super heavy-weight boxer Fat Bastard. Fat Bastard absorbed the punch by blocking the blow with his opponent, Triumph the Insult Comic Dog’s face.

The incident happened when the referee, Jackie Justice, called the two fighters to the center of the ring. Michael Buffer started to chime in with his familiar phrase, “Let’s Get Ready… Continue

By Austin Girl of the Dirty Dog Daily

Howard Dean, chairman of the Democratic National Committee, hired Republican Political Strategist Karl Rove’s favorite political dirty trickster specialist, part-time refrigerator repair dog and (Nixon-hold-over) Buddy “Fat Bastard” the Beagle to put on a ‘Hillary for President’ tee-shirt and go piss on John McCain’s leg during a national televised McCain speech.

But, the drunken, disoriented Fat Bastard screwed up his assignment while playing footsies wit… Continue

Dirty Dog Daily has obtained an exclusive sex video tape featuring Paris Hilton’s teacup Chihuahua Tinkerbell and
Austin Girl’s very own low-class and overweight refrigerator-repair dog Buddy “Fat Bastard” the Beagle.

The overly-sex… Continue